What do Bikini's and My Grandpa's Birthday Have in Common?

Hello Mind Readers, I miss you so bad sometimes it hurts. Sorry, about the delay in my post. It is a long story. Basically I was hiking in the Catskill Mountains, and I came across this strangely dressed man playing nine-pin. He gave me a drink of his liquor, and I settled down under a shady tree only to fall asleep. I woke up and I fond that I had a giant beard then I checked my blog and found that over a month had passed sense my last post. (Wait.. What, no I didn't realize that is what happened to Rip Van Winkle in Washington Irving's 1819 classic. No, I didn't realize that this was an abbreviated version of the abbreviation on the Rip Van Winkle Wikipedia page.) Thats awkward, well (changing the subject) here is what is on my mind.

Have you heard of Bikini Barista's? Basically what it is a Starbucks, but instead of a green Starbucks aprons the attendants wear bikinis. This is how an accidental near visit nearly ruined my life. To protect the innocent I'm not going to tell you the names of the people I was with, but I was with my parents. We were headed off on a trip to celebrate my Grandpa's birthday, and the driver needed a caffeine fix in order to make the long trip. I was minding my own business while engaged in a battle scene of "Eclipse" from the Twilight Epic when I noticed that the coffee sign had a proactively clad lady bumblebee. Then I had a couple uncomfortable ideas 1) Am I attracted to a bumblebee? 2) More importantly am I in the drive-through for a Bikini Barista with my family? I honestly couldn't see anyway how this situation could turn out well so I quickly alerted the family to our predicament. I thought that as soon as I mentioned the uncomfortable situation my family blush and zip out of the drive-through without a second thought. This was not the case.

My parents sat their for a few minutes debating if we should stay in line. They said we were already running late and already waited in line for a few minutes. The fam was actually considering going through with this regardless of a free show. I did some quick thinking and made up a story about how this type of thing could scar a guy for life, and told them they probably wouldn't ever have any grandchildren if we didn't 86 this shop. Luckily, my Mom wants grandchildren so she bought my story and we headed to Starbucks.

The drive-through was packed so we decided to go inside. I didn't want anything because on long family car-rides coffee gives me the jitters and I get irritated easily. Come to think of it I'm not sure it's actually the coffee. ( I know what your thinking try 5 Hour Energy, but I can't drink that because I hate peeing my pants. That poison should be sold as diuretic. One time I drank one and instantly started peeing luckily in the bathroom, and as I was washing my hands I already had to pee again.) Back to Starbucks so, I sat down on one of the heavily used couches (did they steal those from under a homeless person), put on my new glasses, and picked up the nearest loose piece of newspaper. I noticed a very attractive and familiar girl walking towards me. A former crush, walked up to me and said, " Hey, Justin how are you? I like your new glasses they make you look very intelligent." I was taken off guard so in a goofy voice I replied, "Danks. I good." After my smooth response we simultaneously realized that I was reading the comic section and it was upside-down. I wasn't sure, but as she walked away I doubted that she still thought my glasses made me look intelligent. Special, but not intelligent. At least I didn't have a six hour car ride ahead of me to think about why a former crush would always be just that a former crush. We finally made it to my Grandpa's house and explained our adventure at the Bikini Coffee Shop and why we were nearly an hour late. His response, "Did you remember the shops address so you can go back later?"

Well thanks for reading again Mind Readers, and remember the world is laughing at you so you better laugh back.

JHarp