Where have I been?

Hello Mind Readers... I still think about you sometimes. Do I ever cross your mind? (Anytime Brian McKnight 1997) I am sure you are curious what I have been up to the past few months. Well lets get this started. This is my top five list of things I have not been doing, aside from writing in my blog.

1) Finding a girlfriend; My focus lately has really been more focused on my career. My career as a professional gamer. Believe it or not... being really good at SuperSmash Bros is not in most girls top ten desirable traits in the opposite sex. On the plus side I can beat DonkeyKong like 95% of the time with Kirby. Here is an example "Kirby team-up." In my quest to master retro video gamage, I have noticed that the worse the graphics, the more difficult the game. NES games are impossible, and do not get me started on Atari. It is more difficult for a man to beat the original NBA Jam then to open a cold jar of jam with wet hands. Honestly, when is the last time that Shawn Bradley stole the ball from Garry Payton and proceeded to hit the game winning three pointer? Never, that is when ladies, you know what I mean guys! (High Five) I finally remember why my childhood was so angry. #cheatingcomputers Let's get back to the original thought though. I have not been busy with a girlfriend, but it is so difficult to meet girls these days. The selection in my gaming man cave basement is very limited. In fact it is not existent. That is actually not funny at all:( I did try meeting a girl really hard yesterday. It was mostly a money decision. I figured if I started dating on February 29th I would only have to celebrate a anniversary once every four years. That would save me thousands on gifts over my lifetime so romantic.

2) Learning a second Language; Well that is not entirely true. I have been picking up key phrases in ordering food burritos. (Mostly from old Taco Bell commercials "Yo Quiero Taco Bell!") I love going to one of the Tri-Cites finest dining establishments Roberto's. While ordering I always end with "Gracias mi amor." Which according to my spanish speaking friends ruffly translates to "I appreciate your work, and thank you for taking my order." The lady behind the counter keeps calling me a "Gringo" which if I'm translating that correctly means "You're welcome sweetie." I'm not going to brag, but I'm quite the charmer with the Latinas. I compare myself to a white Ricky Martin or something.He seems to be pretty good with the ladies anyway. After all I am "Livin la Bebier's hot Coca."

3)Naked potato sack racing. (no photo)

4) Practicing internal medicine. Mostly because that would be highly illegal. However, I have mastered something nearly as difficult. I have become a helicopter pilot. Technically, they are miniature remote control helicopters. (I directed this movie with a british boy about it called "Flying Helis; And other Things that make me say Cheerio.") I know it isn't exactly as sexy as flying a real helicopter, but it is still pretty dangerous. If one of those blades hit you directly in the jugular, you probably would have a tiny bruise on your neck. Also, if selling cars doesn't pan-out, I can always get a seasonal job in the mall selling tiny aircrafts. Everything I do has purpose.

#cool

5) Doomsday Prepping. On the other hand, I have become a hoarder. I realize that my collections of belly button lint and cat hair will not getme very far in apocalypse, but who believes in that stuff. I mean I'm not crazy! Hahahah.

Thanks for reading my Mind, Readers. Hit me up, and share a few things you have not been doing during the long winter months.

JHarp out