Are You Going To Eat That...

Hello "Mind Readers" thanks for coming back to take a look inside of my head. Side note, I thought it was funny that google was putting up ads for funeral flowers and mortuaries because of my post about looking cool at funerals.

Lets get right into it. Here is what is inside JHarp's Mind...

So today I ordered some pizza from Pizza Hut. Quick shout out, right now you can get any pizza at Pizza Hut for 10 dollas. (Pizza Hut CEO Scott Bergren throw some advertising bucks my way. I'm broke.) Anyway, deal of the century right. The Ninja Turtles are rolling over in their graves. Yes, unfortunately the Ninja Turtles passed away several years ago. The excessive pizza consumption and poor living conditions of sewer life finally caught up with them. Who would have thought? Back to the story, so one of my buddies texts me, "What are you doing?" I excitedly told him about the excellent pizza wealth that had been bestowed upon me. He responds, "Are you going to eat that trash.. :( So bad for you." Thank you Jilian Micheals (from "The Biggest Loser" circa 2008, I'm obviously not eating this "trash" to jump start my new diet. I was flabbergasted at my friends response because a) I saw him scarfing down a double cheeseburger with a glass of eggnog the night before b) I didn't know he was an huge butt hole. I had no response for my portly companion that wouldn't compromise our friendship. His response did get me thinking though...

Why do Big people love to give health advice? Furthermore, why do large people love "The Biggest Loser?"

"Bigger" people giving health advice is like someone tweaking on crack trying to help a cigarette smoker quit. Don't get me wrong I'm no Spartan warrior, but no matter what nutritional advice, someone my size or larger gives me, I automatically discredit that information. A fat man could walk up to me and say, "Hey if you want to lose weight you should try eating more fruits and vegetables." My knee jerk response would be, "Haha yeah right, I'll definitely try that. It seems to be working for you." I know weight is a struggle and a big problem for a lot of people. I'm not trying to make fun of that, but typically people tend to avoid giving advice about things they struggle with. There is always that one hypocritical jerk no matter what the problem is, he/she has to get his/her two cents in. I'll start talking about eating unhealthy foods some random fat guy seems to magically appear out of thin air like a Leprechaun at the end of a rainbow. The guy always sounds as if he just finished the Boston Marathon, gasp, " I wouldn't eat that." Okay thank you, but it looks like you already did. I love everyone, but please don't come up to me while I'm enjoying my guilty pleasures just to tell me what not to eat. Especially if there are still crumbs from a deep fried candy bar on your face.

I find it funny that "large" people love to watch "The Biggest Loser." Even in my bigger days I was uncontrollably drawn to the show. I would finish ingesting a Taco Bell Grande Meal, and my first thought was, "Dang I really wish The Biggest Loser was on." Skinny people were thinking to themselves, "What did that fatty just say? Why would anyone watch trash?" I think big people are drawn to the show for the same reason dogs start freaking out when they see another dog on tv. Its like holy crap someone like me is on tv. Lets be honest aside from the guy on Lost and Rosie O'Donnell there aren't many BIG people on tv. This is why I devised a healthier way to watch the, "The Biggest Loser." Step 1: Buy exercise equipment. Step 2: Eat fruits and vegetables. Step 3: Look into the mirror.


Hey thanks everyone for reading. I love you all big and small. Remember the world is laughing at you so you better laugh back.

JHarp